Here are a three off-the-cuff tips for adding life to your writing:
1) Use adverbs when relating neutral information or citing other sources:
Compare:
“As Jones states, ‘Hamlet is a famous play.'”
vs.
“As Jones CORRECTLY states, ‘Hamlet is a famous play.'”
vs.
“As Jones BLANDLY states, ‘Hamlet is a famous play.'”
(A computer could write the first one, not the second two.)
2) Be careful with “started to” and “began to,” especially if the action is immediate:
“She started to throw a punch.”
Never has a fast action seemed so slow!
“He began to fall asleep in class on Monday.”
“He fell asleep in class on Monday” suffices.
3) Mix short and long sentences.
BONUS TIP (from Siobhan McMenemy, a friend and fine editor at University of Toronto Press):
“The moment one reads passionate, honest writing, one knows. It’s one thing to be ‘distant,’ [i.e. objective], but I don’t understand the lack of enthusiasm in so much scholarly work. I push less seasoned authors to develop their own voices not only by encouraging them to stop quoting other people and to tell me what they think, but also by asking them what really matters to them, when it comes to their subject. Why do they care about it? Usually when they start thinking in those terms, the writing comes more easily.”)
All of the tips to date are available at: http://www2.arnes.si/~bjason/LW%20tips.pdf