Language/Writing Tip 14

The phrase “puts it nicely” or “shows nicely” can sound patronizing and, sometimes, downright grotesque.

1) Patronizing.

“Shakespeare puts it nicely when he has Hamlet say, ‘To be or not to be…'”

Well done, Bard!

(The problem here seems to be a combination of weak praise – since “nice” is the minimum of praise – and the seeming circularity – since writing an entire essay on Shakespeare implies that you have found many nice phrases.)

2) Grotesque.

“Shakespeare puts it nicely when he has Cornwall say to Gloucester, ‘See’t shalt thou never’ and ‘Upon these eyes of thine I’ll set my foot.'”

There isn’t much that’s “nice” about blinding Gloucester.

(By the way, when you come across “nice” in older texts, try to determine the contemporary meaning. The adjective has had more lives than Madonna. At one time, “You look nice!” meant “You look foolish!”)

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Language/Writing Tip 13

Here are some mistakes that make you look very bad.

1) forgetting commas around appositional phrases:

WRONG:
“The book, as we have seen is long.”
“The last time I, dressed in green in red attended a party…”
“Stanko and Janko, the well-known gangsters both forget where they had parked.”

CORRECT:
“The book, as we have seen, is long.”
“The last time I, dressed in green in red, attended a party…”
“Stanko and Janko, the well-known gangsters, both forgot where they had parked.”

2) Know the difference between “first” as a dubious synonym for the adverb “firstly” and “__ first”

“First person to set foot on the moon…” is embarrassing.

Less embarrassing but still wrong:

“There are three ways to eat a chocolate eclair. First…”

No. It has to be “THE first” because you mean “The first way…”

3) Not “a bit snotty way” but:

a) “a bit of a snotty way”
b) [more elegant-sounding and formal: “a somewhat snotty way”

ALL OF THE TIPS OF THE YEAR ARE AVAILABLE AT:
http://www2.arnes.si/~bjason/LW%20tips.pdf

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Language/Writing Tip 12

A rule of thumb for using the phrase “let alone”: it generally follows a negative. Three examples from a online book-search for “let alone consider”

a) “NOBODY can be conscious of, let alone consider, all aspects…”
b) “But it is already an advantage with respect to interpretive economy NOT TO HAVE TO CONSIDER the possibility of having here case of type 3 of CS, let alone consider the adjectival meaning…”
c) “There is such a chaos of contentious, INCONSISTENT, UNRELATED elements in the field that it is impossible to make sense of it, let alone consider it to be scientific.”

Compare these distortions of Dr. Seuss’s “Green Eggs and Ham”:

CORRECT:
“I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. [LET ALONE] on a train…”

BIZARRE (after Sam tries the eggs and ham):

“And I will eat them in the rain.
And in the dark. [LET ALONE] on a train…”

Of course, you can also use “let alone” to signal a contrast or intensification of (negative) possibilities, as in these two examples:

a) “In a postmodern era of exponential change, how can we take stability seriously, LET ALONE consider it a virtue?”
b) “The embodiment of ugliness belonging to one person was too overwhelming to separate, LET ALONE consider that it was coming from a father who would do anything for his family.”

Synonyms for “let alone” include “much less” and “still less” and “gee, golly, I don’t even want to…”

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Language/Writing Tip 11

1) Here’s a nifty construction that, for whatever reason, is underused:

“She was among the first to research…”

Students almost always opt for:

“She was among the first WHO RESEARCHED…”

2) Watch out for this type of methodological circularity:

“By comparing the two novels, I will establish what the differences are.”

“By comparing implies a process,” but how else can one find “differences”?

Less grandiose-sounding but more understandable:

“I compared the two novels and found many differences.”

More here: http://www2.arnes.si/~bjason/index.html#guides

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Language/Writing Tip 10

When mentioning time, note the difference between “only at” and “not until”:

“I can meet you only at four” does not mean “I can’t meet you until four.”

If you want to emphasize tardiness, use “not until”:

1) “He only got there at noon.” (neutral)
2) “He did not get there until noon.” (lazy!)

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Language/Writing Tip 9

A few things to avoid in academic writing:

1) Do not italicize the comma after a list of titles – that is, italicize only the novel title, not the comma that follows. This is a minor point, but it takes forever for the lowly proofreader to correct.

2) Try not to advertise private companies: if you can avoid Amazon (and refer perhaps to Worldcat), Google (and say “an internet search”), etc., do so.

Such avoidance is, of course, often unavoidable, but keep it in mind.

3) The Oxford comma. If you use it, use it consistently: “ham, eggs, and coffee” on page 4 should not be “ham, eggs and coffee” on page 10 (especially if the same terms are repeated verbatim).

4) Discursive and substantive footnotes and endnotes. Keep ’em short.

(I will add some examples over the next few days.)

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Language/Writing Tip 8

This is less of a tip than food for thought.

Read this sentence aloud (slightly changed from a real, published example):

“And universities have similarly raised intellectual property concerns over ownership of the online courses their professors are now asked to assemble, indicating that ‘the future of their profession’ is at stake.”

The sentence is not gorgeous, which is excusable. It is needlessly difficult to understand, which is not excusable.

In class, I asked students to restore semantic order. The short but simple solution provided? “Add ‘that.'”

“And universities have similarly raised intellectual property concerns over ownership of the online courses THAT their professors are now asked to assemble, indicating that ‘the future of their profession’ is at stake.”

Much clearer and there’s no need to puzzle out the meaning.

NOTE:

This will be the last tip for a few weeks.

All tips for this year, as well as diploma thesis advice, are available at:

http://www2.arnes.si/~bjason/LW%20tips.pdf

You might also want to ponder:

http://www2.arnes.si/~bjason/LNW.pdf

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Language/Writing Tip 7

This will not be a stellar explanation, but here goes…

Often there is a comma missing before “with” – that is, in qualifying clauses or whatever they’re called.

Example:

“He went to sea with an oar as his sole companion.”

Clearer to my ear/eye:

“He went to sea, with an oar as his sole companion.”

Another, real example:

“It is also unregulated and mostly part of the grey economy with known breaches of worker’s rights.”

No.

“It is also unregulated and mostly part of the grey economy [COMMA] with known breaches of worker’s rights.”

Sometimes the comma-less “with” seems to aim at emphasis, as in:

“This is the total population of the Mediterranean with the Island of Sicily.”

How about?

“This is the total population of the Mediterranean, INCLUDING the Island of Sicily”?

Ask your grammar professors for a better explanation.
In the meantime, be vigilant!

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Language/Writing Tip 6

Language/Writing Tip 6

This funny-sounding combination pops up occasionally:
“As a future author, young Hemingway was an avid reader.”
or
“In her efforts to improve her writing, elderly Munro turned to the spellcheck.”
“young Hemingway” and “elderly Munro” sound dismissive.
More neutral: “the young Hemingway” and “the elderly Munro.”

Note:

All tips for this year, as well as diploma thesis advice, are available at:

http://www2.arnes.si/~bjason/LW%20tips.pdf

You might also want to ponder:

http://www2.arnes.si/~bjason/LNW.pdf

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Language/Writing Tip 5

I have lately had the un-pleasure of proofreading a number of academic articles.
I have come to hate the phrase “to shed some light on…”

A few examples:

a) “This paper aims to shed some light on immigration.”
b) “This paper strives to shed light on the movie industry.”
c) “This paper has as its purpose the shedding of light on academia.”

Dull, dull, dull. And we have to read on to figure out what the paper is actually about.

Using the replacement-test, we arrive at: “By turning on the lamp, I aim to shed light on the room…” Silly-sounding, but no less circular than the above examples.

There may be arguments for using “shed light on.” Keep in mind, however, that:
1) the phrase is overused to the point of cliché.
2) if the noun after “shed light on” is vague, the sentence is hardly illuminating. a, b, and c, do not provide a thesis.
3) the combination “aims to” or “tries to” or “strives to” with “shed light on” is almost always laughable.
4) What is “some light”?

…if you are specific, the phrase “to shed light on” is tolerable:

“This paper aims to shed light on the use of Form T-29a in regulating immigration.”
“This paper strives to shed light on the use of professional Slovenian soccer players in the movie industry.”

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