Slovene Association for the Study of English

Another short one this week:

The phrase “Until not a long time ago…” is less idiomatic than “until not long ago…”

“Until not long ago, I cheered for Ptuj.”

It’s obvious that “long ago” has to do with time, so you can chop “time.”

Similarly, phrases like “a year of days” are redundant. A year is a year is a year. You don’t have to subdivide the time.

(That said, if you are emphasizing the waiting, it can work – e.g. “I’ve been waiting a week of days for you!”)

A short one:

Drop the “I” in “As I mentioned earlier.”

Just write: “As mentioned…”

(Two further notes: Do not overuse this phrase. Also, see if you can drop the “earlier” – the past tense tells us not to fast-forward.)

The rest of the tips are available at:  http://www2.arnes.si/~bjason/LW%20tips.pdf

Spot the stylistic problems in this passage:

“Inspiration is something of a strength in this little text, and with that I’m thinking more or less of its rather positive qualities. The sentences are fairly short and, on the whole, clear, and the story was almost always suspenseful. Children will enjoy the humour and optimism, and they will probably have learned a great deal after having read it. This picture book will arouse the reader’s curiosity and make us laugh.”

This passage is murdered by:  1) Vagueness (which “text” and “picture book” is this? What are the “positive qualities”?) 2) Too many tenses (“I’m thinking”; “the sentences ARE” morphs into “the story WAS”; “will probably have learned”; “after having read it”; “will arouse” – this is a time machine gone wrong!)  3) Too many useless and bland qualifiers:

“Inspiration is SOMETHING of a strength in this LITTLE text, and with that I’m thinking MORE OR LESS of its RATHER positive qualities. The sentences are FAIRLY short and, ON THE WHOLE, clear, and the story was ALMOST always suspenseful. Children will enjoy the humour and optimism, and they will PROBABLY have learned a great deal after having read it. This picture book will arouse the reader’s curiosity and make us laugh.” 4) Flipping between: i) first person singular (“I’m thinking”); ii) third person plural (“children”); iii) third person singular (“the reader”); iv) a warm and fuzzy first person plural (“make us laugh”)

Here’s a livelier version of the same:

“Inspiration is a strength in GREEN EGGS AND HAM, and with that I’m thinking of its _____ MOTIVATIONAL qualities. The sentences are _____ short and _____ clear, and the story IS _____ always suspenseful. Children will enjoy the humour and optimism, and they will ______ LEARN A GREAT DEAL FROM IT. This picture book will arouse THEIR curiosity and make us ALL laugh.”

(“make us ALL” signals an awareness of the switch – i.e. it shows that the switch is intentional)

The rest of the tips are available at:  http://www2.arnes.si/~bjason/LW%20tips.pdf

Words, words, words, words.

1) “borrow”

A bad joke is worth a lengthy explanation:  “Can I borrow an egg?”  “Will you return it?”

If returning the item is not an option, “borrow” can sound strange.

(Unlike native speakers, Slovenians rarely mix up “borrow” and “lend.”)

2) Note the difference between “sure” and “surely.”

a) “This passage sure is meant to be ironic.” (slang)  b) “The story is surely meant to be ironic.” (a suggestion)

3) Instead of “persuade not to do,” write “dissuade from doing”

“I dissuaded him from wearing my butterfly hat to the party.”

4) “revolves around” but “evolves from”

“We all evolved from mud, or at least most of us did.”

“The story revolves around a tedious love triangle.”

The rest of the tips are available at:  http://www2.arnes.si/~bjason/LW%20tips.pdf

Spot the howler in this sentence:

“I have learned few things over the years,” said my dad, with a wistful and knowing look.

Here, “few things” is a synonym for “I have learned virtually nothing…”

Sometimes a missing article does make a big difference:

“I have learned A FEW THINGS over the years,” said my dad, with a wistful and knowing look.

Another example:

“I know few things about cars” means: “You don’t want me touching your engine.”

“I know a few things about cars” means: “You can’t fool me – I’m not buying your second-hand lemon.”

The rest of the tips are available at:  http://www2.arnes.si/~bjason/LW%20tips.pdf